At the end of my 6 months spent in South America I made a dubious decision. Sitting there in the flight lounge at Comodoro Arturo Merino Benítez Airport in Santiago, barely a dollar left to my name and my last beer on the continent (for now) sitting beside me, I started to think back on the six months that had been. I reflected upon the sheer amount of time that I’d spent in South America, and on the sheer distance that I’d traversed in a short 182 days. So much time on the road, spent in the warm and semi-warm confines of the vast bus network crisscrossing the continent. I wondered, how much time exactly had I spent on buses? Then I pulled out my calculator and started to add up the time, each leg of the journey north and south starting to grow into a figure that made my eyes bulge - 16 days. 16 days of my life spent on buses in 6 months. I didn’t know whether to weep or to laugh; 16 days spent on buses, and what did I have to show for it? A working knowledge of how to survive, at least.

1) WARMTH

South America is a continent of extremes, ranging from frigid temperatures in Patagonia, to the tropical heat of northern Colombia to the arid desert temperatures of Peru. Accordingly, the climate of the buses that you will use to get between these climes also varies - however, not always in a predictable fashion. Some bus drivers will blast the air conditioning for the entirety of a 16 hour journey into Patagonia, whilst others will incongruously douse the bus with the cloying of the heater in the midst of Southern Colombia (both actually happened). Thus, there is no telling what the climate on the bus will be, so pack accordingly. Even if you are embarking in the heat of the desert, pack warm clothes and prepare to layer-up or down as the journey wears on. Similarly, even if you are catching a bus form Ushuaia (southern tip of Argentina), be prepared to layer down to a t-shirt by the journey’s end. My advice is to always have on hand a jumper with the ability to layer down to a t-shirt.

2) Safety

While I never felt unsafe on a bus in Latin America (aside from the Death Road experience…) staying safe whilst on buses here is paramount. My general advice for how to keep safe is as follows;

Don’t travel alone - always get on the bus with a mate if possible.
Don’t store any of your valuables below the bus. This is where they’ll get stolen from
Keep your passport and any small valuables on your person whilst on the bus
Don’t get drunk on the bus: whilst fun, I’d advise against it.

3) Quality

The quality of the bus that you’ll be on will vary greatly across the continent. Ranging from the quasi-luxurious cama and semi-cama options in Chile and Argentina, to the provincial bus routes in rural Bolivia, you’ll notice colossal differences in the quality of your bus. The most general rule of thumb when it comes to buses is that a cama seat will allow the passenger to almost recline their chair fully, to the semblance of a leather bed, while the semi-cama option will only allow for partial a partial recline of the chair. However, the fare increase from semi-cama to cama can often be eye watering, often coming close to double the initial fare - for those on a budget semi-cama is a considerably more affordable option for only a moderate decline in comfort. In my sixteen days on buses across South America I only booked a cama berth on one occasion - from Valparaiso to La Serena in Chile. The quality between chairs as compared to the semi-cama option was barely noticeable, but the lightness of my wallet when disembarking certainly was. Most long-distance buses in Chile and Argentina will only often cama or semi-cama bookings, whilst the further north you go (Peru, Bolivia, Ecuador), the traveler will find the general quality of buses in sharp decline, but being organized and knowing what routes offer a comfortable journey will go a long way to ensuring that you can still book a semi-comfortable bus ride north after you progress north from either Chile or Argentina.

4) BOOKING

Buses in South America can often be haphazard, and will often run on a schedule all on their own. Moreover, I also found it extremely difficult to find consistently valid information about bus routes and timetables online whilst I was travelling there. As a result of this, my advice for any would-be bus traveler across South America is to be prepared about their next trip. If you are the type of traveler to turn up to the bus station on the day of your departure it’s likely that you’ll be left catching the local farm bus, rather than the sleek north-bound bus in some semblance of comfort. My fondest memory of such a time is when I embarked the 20 hour overnight bus from Sucre to La Paz - my lack of preparedness resulting in my consignment to the back seat of the the creaking aluminum rust-bucket, surrounded by boxes of chickens and rooster carcasses - funny for the first hour, tedious by the journey’s end when covered in offal and rooster blood. The smarter move is to always book your bus fare several days in advance, thus reserving your space on one of the more desired cama or semi-cama options. The best bet for any traveler on a schedule is to always inquire at the ticket (boleto) desk at the bus terminal when they arrive in each new town or city - here you can find information about when buses leave, which buses have free space, and what the quality of the bus will be. Keep in mind that when you are in tourist hubs that aren’t necessarily service by local buses (think; Patagonia) the price of the bus will increase drastically, and seats will book out days in advance - thus, the smart-money is on booking your next bus fare upon arriving in the new town, thus saving an unnecessary return to the bus terminal only to be disappointed. Whilst on the topic, when booking seats, my advice is to book seats somewhere in the middle of the bus. Never book seats at the back of the bus (near the toilets and most likely above the engine), or the front of the bus (prone to sudden gusts of wind the the front doors open). The middle, like in so many things, is the safest and most comfortable place to be.

5) PREPAration

Distinct from the point about bringing warm clothes, it also helps to be decidedly prepared for the sheer length of time that you will spend on each leg of your bus journey across South America. Some routes may take up to 24 hours (Bariloche to El Calafate in Argentina), thus, it helps to be prepared with all of the necessary items for some degree of comfort. My suggestion for each leg of the bus journey is to put anything you won’t need in your large travel bag, which will be placed in the storage compartment of the bus for the journey, whilst reserving space in a small travel bag for the following items.

Food: Pack light, easy to store food. Rest breaks for food are often few and far between and often don’t occur at all. My advise is to bring trail-mix or nuts, and food that generally doesn’t lead to any need for cleaning up.
Water: This one is an absolute must. Bring at least 2 liters of water with you no matter how long the bus trip is. As I mentioned above, the temperature can vary wildly on buses, and you also may face unexpected delays along the way. Bring water and drink from it slowly.
Toilet-paper: Without being too descriptive, some of the buses that you’ll take will have an on-board bathroom. I can guarantee that this space will be decimated within half-an-hour of your departure, and will shortly become a less desirous place to be than Normandy in 1944. However, if you need to go, you need to go, so bring toilet paper, as this commodity is going to run out faster than you can blink.
Entertainment: While some buses will play a movie along the journey, unless you can speak Spanish, or are sitting particularly close to the monitor (usually located near the driver’s cabin), these films are barely worth your while. The better bet is to pre-load your tablet with films worth watching, bring an e-reader or book, and strap yourself in for the long-haul. A horror story from my travelling companion in 2014 - he only pre-loaded his spotify with 1 downloaded album prior to leaving Santiago on a 12 hour journey to the Atacama and also forgot to pack a book to boot - nobodies imagination can be vivid enough to sustain a journey of that length.
Headphones/Earplugs: Just because its midnight and you are travelling between Medellin to Cartagena doesn’t mean that the bus will be quiet. In fact, if you are to be on this route and meet with my old driver, you’ll find that he chooses this auspicious hour as the opportune time to blast reggaeton at several decibels above a volume i’d expect at Glastonbury. Your only chance of sleep at this stage is via plugging in the sound-cancelling headphones or earplugs and drowning out those damn tin drums.

6) talk

The quality of roads will vary wildly in South America

Your travelling companions on buses are in all-likelihood getting off the same stop as you, and are even more likely going to be staying at the same hostel as you. So, strike up a conversation with your neighbors. You’ll never struggle for topics as you head north or south - the very act of being on a bus together should allow for some camaraderie. Some of my closest friends that I traveled with in South America were met on lengthy bus journeys, and I am truly thankful for the chance meetings that led to our conversation. The centre aisle is a great place to banter, share tips for the road, and collaborate on future plans. Crack out the playing cards or the map and talk plans, you never know, you might meet somebody that you’ll travel with for weeks and months. What you will also find is that while you are travelling in the Gringo Route (central bus routes heading north - south across South America) that you will run into the same travelers over and over again. Why wait till the next hostel to talk to that friendly backpacker that you always seem to be sitting behind on buses? Don’t be shy, you’re all in this together.

7) GO WITH THE FLOW

I hate that I just wrote that sentence. Those words are about as far from my personal ethos as you can get. However, I just wrote it, and the advice holds especially true for bus travel in South America. Europe this isn’t, and things will go wrong in your journey on buses across South America. Recalling some of my greater ‘catastrophes’ whilst catching buses - being trapped on Death Road in Bolivia on a booked-out bus due to the bus being stuck in mud, with the bus wavering perilously over the edge of a 50-meter high cliff, being again stuck in the mud in a small bus in Yali National Park in Bolivia, pushing at the back of the vehicle with 10 other travelers, becoming gradually coated in cloying mud the more we pushed. Or, missing the bus from Buenos Aires to Salta due to the bus leaving half-an-hour early without being announced it had even arrived. Long-story short, things will go wrong. Lots of things will frustrate you. Toilet breaks will be skipped, timetables will not be kept to. Whole stops will be skipped by a frustrated bus driver, or they will detour to pick up a pizza delivery (threw me off my expected arrival in Puerto Natales by an hour). You will arrive late, or perhaps hilariously early. You will find the experience kafkaesque in the extreme, but you have no control over it. All you can do is find the hilarity in it, and accept that this is how things are here. So, when things go wrong, smile wistfully, recline your chair, and put your headphones in - there’s nothing you can do but laugh at this stage.

Any questions for bus travel in South America? I promise you, after 6 months there, I’m the expert! Ask away in the comments below!